I’m Ready to Fight

Yesterday/this morning is the last time I’m going to let anxiety make me think I can’t do this, that the thoughts I’m having are true, and that it will let me have a normal life. I’m done with it winning and I’m ready to win. I’m ready to cope with it, ready to take medicine again, ready to take control. I don’t want this to effect my relationships with anyone I care about, I don’t want to not be able to feel okay around my boyfriend each week, I don’t want this to interfere with my job, and most of all I don’t want it to let me control me. I’m ready and unlike last year, I’m more accepting to go on my medicine because I know it does help in situations like this. I want to live the best life I can. We only have one and I don’t want to live one where anxiety is the ruler. I am the one that says what my body feels, not anxiety.  I will be okay, no matter what anxiety tells me. I will believe what I tell myself, what Jon tells me, what my sister tells me, what my therapist tells me. I will not let anxiety make me think people hate me or worry what they think of me. I will do what I want to do with my boyfriend without having to worry about what his sister thinks, I won’t think whenever I hear a laugh behind my back it’s about me. I will do this and I will beat this.


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