When it comes to anxiety, crying is bound to happen. Whether their tears of disappointment, fear, sadness, being fed up, etc. It’s okay to cry though. I’ve learned that it makes me feel worse when I try to hold back the tears. I’ve gotten over the fact that it’s going to ruin the makeup that I just did or that I don’t want to let the person next to me see that I’m crying. If I don’t get it out, it just stays there and it gets worse. I’m not sure if crying is the way of getting the anxiety out, if it makes you concentrate on that for awhile instead, or it sends some form of chemicals to your brain. I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it’s okay.
I forgot to mention yesterday what else my therapist said. She told me that my brain is the same as her brain. Just because I have anxiety doesn’t mean my brain is “bad” or that there is something wrong. It’s what I myself is sending to my brain that we’re trying to stop. For example, if you feel nausea while you’re out in public, you might say “uh, I’m not feeling well, but I’m going to try and just do what I have to do.” However, my brain goes to panic mode because I start to panic. I think, “Crap, I’m going to get sick in public and I can’t handle this.” I need to send my mind the first signal instead of the latter one to get control of my anxiety.
She also asked me what was worse, getting sick in public or having to leave the mall? I told her the latter. There is a part of me, obviously, that is afraid of getting sick in public. However, the reason I hate my anxiety so much is because it does ruin my plans and I don’t want it to have that hold on me. I have things I want to do and I don’t want anxiety to ruin them. I haven’t gone out yet today, but I will. I know my anxiety is with me though today, because I really can’t eat anything and I just don’t feel like I’m me. I’m hoping that will change during the day, but we’ll see what happens.
The only thing that I can do is to stay positive about this, know that I can beat this, and that it’s okay if I have to cry every now and again.